Wednesday 6 July 2016

July 6th - A Failed Trip to Ostia Antic and a Poem


The morning I slept in and it was glorious. I had a later breakfast. There was a lecture on YA collaboration which made me want to read the book Rufus + Syd. Lecture was followed by workshop where I had to introduce a piece. I had been worried about it for a while but I think I did a halfway decent job even though I just talked instead of having something prepared. Workshop ended a little early adding to my lunchtime. I spent lunch in my room eating the leftover pizza from yesterday and reading the two worksheets for tomorrow, one of which is my own work. I also read through the poems I'll be reading to the group tomorrow as practice. Pretty soon it was time to gear up and head to Ostia Antic.


I get to Ostia Antic and as soon as I leave the bus and step out into the sun I feel ill. Not that I felt 100% on the bus, but better then needing a bathrooom right away. A visit to the restroom and I know there is no way I'll be able to make it through 2 hours of sun exposure. So instead, I sit in the shade, right outside the archeological site, not even able to see it. It's so depressing to not be able to participate but even just sitting here I feel ill so I know I wouldn't be better off trying to walk through the ruins. What really sucks is that I even got my favorite red umbrella tour guide. I was able to listen to the tour guide for a bit but soon I was cut off from even that.

It makes me worried for the two extra days I have to explore. Will I even make it to Pompeii? Or do I get to spend the rest of my time hiding in the hotel? It's the most frustrating feeling because as I sit here in the shade I begin to feel better but as soon as I step out into the sun or the breeze stops blowing and I get just a little bit warm the feelings of sickness return. I just don’t understand why I feel like this. I've been drinking lots of water. No caffeine. Limiting my cheese intake. I haven’t even had the famed gelato yet! I even borrowed a hat to help protect me. Did I just push myself too hard on the day of the Vatican? Or was the damage done before that? Will I get better before the end of the trip?

I feel like I did when I went on my 8th grade trip and got sick at the cathedral, not as bad because I can mostly take care of myself but still having to tell someone that I'm sick and can't do something I'm supposed to be doing is hard. I wasn't able to do it without crying.

Definitely feeling like a vampire right about now. Where's my coffin? 


A Few Lines Composed Outside Ostia Antic
The sun beats down
 It bakes me from the inside out
 I puddle jump from shade to shade
 Unable to escape its rays
 Stomach twisting
 Feeling empty - taking a breath
 Breathe in...and out...in...and out
 Mouth of cotton
 Not enough water to quench my thirst
 Gaging in my throat
 Trying to keep it down
 It steals my life force for itself
 Casting me aside like a forgotten ruin
 I do not sparkle,
 Will I burst into flame?


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