The morning I slept in and it was glorious. I had a later
breakfast. There was a lecture on YA collaboration which made me want to read
the book Rufus + Syd. Lecture was followed by workshop where I had to introduce
a piece. I had been worried about it for a while but I think I did a halfway
decent job even though I just talked instead of having something prepared.
Workshop ended a little early adding to my lunchtime. I spent lunch in my room
eating the leftover pizza from yesterday and reading the two worksheets for
tomorrow, one of which is my own work. I also read through the poems I'll be
reading to the group tomorrow as practice. Pretty soon it was time to gear up
and head to Ostia Antic.
I get to Ostia Antic and as soon as I leave the bus and step
out into the sun I feel ill. Not that I felt 100% on the bus, but better then
needing a bathrooom right away. A visit to the restroom and I know there is no
way I'll be able to make it through 2 hours of sun exposure. So instead, I sit
in the shade, right outside the archeological site, not even able to see it.
It's so depressing to not be able to participate but even just sitting here I
feel ill so I know I wouldn't be better off trying to walk through the ruins.
What really sucks is that I even got my favorite red umbrella tour guide. I was
able to listen to the tour guide for a bit but soon I was cut off from even
that.
It makes me worried for the two extra days I have to explore.
Will I even make it to Pompeii? Or do I get to spend the rest of my time hiding
in the hotel? It's the most frustrating feeling because as I sit here in the
shade I begin to feel better but as soon as I step out into the sun or the
breeze stops blowing and I get just a little bit warm the feelings of sickness
return. I just don’t understand why I feel like this. I've been drinking lots
of water. No caffeine. Limiting my cheese intake. I haven’t even had the famed
gelato yet! I even borrowed a hat to help protect me. Did I just push myself
too hard on the day of the Vatican? Or was the damage done before that? Will I
get better before the end of the trip?
I feel like I did when I went on my 8th grade trip and got
sick at the cathedral, not as bad because I can mostly take care of myself but
still having to tell someone that I'm sick and can't do something I'm supposed
to be doing is hard. I wasn't able to do it without crying.
Definitely feeling like a vampire right about now. Where's my
coffin?
A Few Lines Composed Outside Ostia Antic
The sun beats down
It bakes me
from the inside out
I puddle jump
from shade to shade
Unable to
escape its rays
Stomach
twisting
Feeling empty -
taking a breath
Breathe
in...and out...in...and out
Mouth of cotton
Not enough
water to quench my thirst
Gaging in my
throat
Trying to keep
it down
It steals my
life force for itself
Casting me
aside like a forgotten ruin
I do not
sparkle,
Will I burst
into flame?
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